And Cast the Shadow of a Snakepit on the Wall

[crimson_war_demon]

Kirigakure Saizo's master wishes to believe the best of everyone. It's a commendable trait, to be sure, if not one that Saizo himself shares. If he has misgivings about this war, he has chosen not to share them; if he has misgivings about those who he has been called to serve, even less so. And though Saizo expects no less, Saizo cannot accept this war or its circumstances with the same ease. Besides, there is a pall over this house, a current of power seething under the surface that makes Saizo's skin crawl. Sasuke, too, has felt it. Even his master must have. And if his master will shut his eyes so stubbornly, it's Saizo's duty to tell him what he does not, or will not, see -- for the sake of them all.

The house is quiet, cast in gloom and shadow, and it is no trouble at all for Saizo to melt into those shadows and make his way to the place that even dust seems to shy from. The door to the basement is not locked. There's no need for it to be; the chill emanating from it, the soft scratching -- or is it chittering? -- from behind, is more effective than any lock. Slowly, Saizo turns the doorknob. To reduce the sound it makes, he tells himself, but that doesn't entirely explain the tension in his fingers, the heaviness in his bones.

The stairs behind the door are silhouetted in a faint green light. Saizo descends.

Saizo is no stranger to creatures that thrive in the darkness and feast on fear. He could be called one himself.

But the things that writhe before him, carpet the floor in a hissing mass -- what can he possibly call them? His breath stalls in his throat, blocks the words from coming out even if he could find them.

He must not let these creatures transfix him. He must leave, and report to his master at once. This must not be hidden.

***

"Master," Saizo says, kneeling before him, and Lancer can't miss how his hands tremble on his knees. To see such a thing in Saizo -- a knot forms in the pit of his stomach.

"What is your report?" he asks, because he must.

Saizo opens his mouth as though to answer, then closes it, shakes his head. "Come with me," he says. "Please."

The way he says that last word disquiets Lancer most of all.

Silently, Saizo leads him down the hall, stops in front of the door to the basement. "Look," he says, "and forgive me for what I have shown you."

"I do not think I am meant to enter -- "

"Master, I fear more for what will happen if you do not."

As Lancer nudges the door open, stories he heard as a boy spring to mind: of women wed to wealthy and mysterious daimyo, and given free reign of their husband's castles save for one room, which must never be entered. Of course, none of them could resist such temptation. And what they found --

-- oh.

If Saizo is still present behind him, Lancer does not notice. If anyone else is present behind him, Lancer does not notice. Lancer wishes, desperately, that he could see nothing at all.

Your Ladyship rises in his throat, and dies just as rapidly. Even his pulse is faint, his blood sluggish. Someone -- Saizo -- is tugging on his arm, pulling him out, closing the door. That matters little; the sight is engraved on Lancer's eyes, as sure as the ruins of Sekigahara and the mud of Tennou-ji. But even those were products of human grievances, human wars. This...

Lancer sinks against the door, stares at his hands, and does his best not to shake.

Comments

[worms_armageddon]

Kaede, meanwhile, is in the library, sitting at a desk piled high with books on strategy and warfare. All of them are unfamiliar to her, and reading through them is a slow progress; some of them contain diagrams, and she keeps referring back to them as she reads on and around them. It will be better, when the battle takes place, if she is prepared. Certainly the process of preparation makes her feel less afraid.

Her back is to the door, and her attention is wholly focused on the book open before her; she is all but oblivious to the world beyond her desk.

[crimson_war_demon]

After some time, Lancer is again aware of her Ladyship's presence; she is in the library. Doubtless she has important business there, and to interrupt would be ungracious, but this -- this cannot go unaddressed. Slowly, he stands, and makes his way to where her Ladyship is working. Saizo fades into the shadows as Lancer walks, which may be for the best. He will discuss this with the Braves later, but now isn't the time for it.

He cannot remember when last his steps were so uncertain.

He pauses at the doorway to the library, and means to clear his throat to announce his presence, but finds the sound stuck. Instead, he raps lightly on the doorframe; truly, he could not knock any harder.

[worms_armageddon]

The library is silent as a tomb but for the sound of Kaede turning pages; even that light rap is enough to disturb her. "Lancer?" she asks, shifting in her seat to face the door -- because who else could it be? There is nobody else in the house who would knock.

[crimson_war_demon]

"Your Ladyship, I -- " he begins, then hesitates, and dares not move any further. "Forgive me, for I may have done a dishonorable thing."

[worms_armageddon]

"Oh -- oh, I'm sure you haven't." She offers a tiny, reassuring smile. "Come in -- what's the matter?"

[crimson_war_demon]

He does, though he stands before her instead of taking a seat. It is much easier to collapse when sitting. "I trespassed my boundaries and entered the basement," he admits, forces himself to meet her eyes. "And -- your Ladyship, I -- forgive me, I do not understand what -- "

Lancer's voice fails him.

[worms_armageddon]

And for a moment, Kaede's voice fails her just as completely; she can only stare up at him, stricken, paralysed by the terror that he will make whatever connection he has not yet made at any moment. She needs to speak. She needs to smile, to shake her head, to offer whatever explanation will placate him -- she needs to lie, and she cannot, because he trusts her so completely and she will never be able to lie to him, knowing that.

"They're Grandfather's familiars," she manages at last, and attempts a smile that must look as forced, as contorted, as it feels. "That's all."

[crimson_war_demon]

"I see," he says, and he does -- her hesitance, her unease are as visible as his own must be. "I mean no disrespect to Lord Matou, but -- "

This is more difficult than any battle he has fought in the Grail War thus far.

"I was no magus in life," he says, "but I have a sense of magic now, and those creatures -- they are a dangerous working."

[worms_armageddon]

"They... they're necessary." She swallows hard; she cannot imagine that he can't feel her heart pounding. She can't imagine that the pounding of her heart isn't shaking the world to its core. "Our family needs them."

[crimson_war_demon]

He mouths the words, need them, for he doesn't know any other way to let them sink in. "I am impertinent, your Ladyship, but why?" On the last word, Lancer's voice threatens to crack, much as his ribs might from how his heart drums against them.

[worms_armageddon]

She grips the back of her chair until her hands can no longer be seen to shake, until her fingers and knuckles are bone-white. "Our circuits are getting weaker," she whispers. "Every generation. We -- we have to augment our power by..." She closes her eyes. "Other means."

[crimson_war_demon]

"With those creatures," he says, as though to force himself to believe such a thing. Those creatures reeked of fouler things than he has ever known, blood and rot and filth all stewed in corruption, and her Ladyship -- there can be no such taint in her. She has shown him so much kindness, so much generosity, so much quiet dedication --

"How is it done?" he asks, his voice soft.

[worms_armageddon]

"Don't ask me," she says -- nearly sobs, her eyes shut tight against the sting of tears. "Please, Lancer, don't ask me--"

[crimson_war_demon]

"Your Ladyship, please forgive me, I -- I have hurt you with my carelessness -- "

[worms_armageddon]

"You didn't hurt me," she manages, voice thick and tearful, and she scarcely recognises the emphasis she lays on you. "You didn't -- you didn't do anything wrong. You just weren't..." The tears spill over; she lets go of the chair to scrub furiously at her eyes with the sleeve of her cardigan. "You weren't supposed to know--"

[crimson_war_demon]

And at last, he understands.

He understands, and wishes with all his heart that there were nothing to understand, that her Ladyship had no cause to weep like this, no cause to bear such a burden...

The corners of his own eyes sting, and he barely manages to say, "Oh."

[worms_armageddon]

Oh. That's it, then. Kaede presses one hand to her mouth, terrified of what might come out if she isn't careful, terrified of what she might ask of him in her selfishness. She cannot ask him to stay. She cannot ask him to forget he ever saw what he saw. There's no way back.

She draws in a deep, shuddering breath, and through her tears, she says, "You can go, if -- if you want to go. I don't know how to release you, but--" She gives a tiny, high-pitched laugh, gestures at the bookshelves all around her. "I can look it up--"

[crimson_war_demon]

"Your Ladyship," he begins, but words are not sufficient for this.

"I am once again impertinent," he says, and before anything else can be spoken, closes the distance between them and wraps his arms around her, holds her close.

[worms_armageddon]

It startles her enough, for a moment, that she nearly stops crying -- she hasn't been held since she was a child, since before she was taken to the basement and left in the dark, and surely at any moment Lancer will feel the worms crawling beneath her skin and draw away, disgusted, as he ought to be and as she deserves. It won't last, she tells herself, it won't last, but it does, and after only a matter of moments her resolve gives out; she clutches him close, buries her face against his chest and cries as though the world has ended around her.

[crimson_war_demon]

He embraces her just as tightly, one hand resting just below her shoulderblades and the other near the nape of her neck. "To have borne this for so long," he murmurs; the Grail War is all but gone from his mind, and even his memories of the past seem distant. There is only him, and her Ladyship, and whatever they may show towards one another. "Truly, you are one of the bravest people I have known."

[worms_armageddon]

"I thought you'd hate me," she says, her voice muffled by her sobs and by Lancer's chest. "I'm not brave. I just -- I just wanted you to keep being kind to me--"

[crimson_war_demon]

"Your Ladyship, I could never hate you. You are my Master -- no," he corrects himself, and brushes the ends of her hair with his fingertips. "There's more to it than that. You have never broken faith with me, and you have stayed by my side, and you seem to learn more each day -- what is there to hate in that?"

[worms_armageddon]

"The--" She swallows hard, trying to compose herself again with sharply limited success. "The worms."

[crimson_war_demon]

"Your Ladyship, I beg you, do not blame yourself for that! I -- " He swallows, his throat tightening; she may be close enough to feel how it shudders. "I cannot imagine what unkindnesses you have endured. I wish -- I wish I could have protected you then..."

[worms_armageddon]

"It -- it was for the good of the family." She clings to him a little more tightly. "I didn't... I didn't like it, but I understood, and maybe it hurt sometimes but it was all right until--" A shuddering breath. "You were so kind to me. It made me want -- it made me wish none of it had happened."